Boundaries...

Laying down boundaries is something one must do immediately when becoming friends with fellow spouses on military installations.  Just like in the civilian world, people will take advantage of you, the difference on post is that the majority of the other spouses, like yourself, are far away from friends and families. 

I learned the hard way to lay down boundaries and to quit allowing myself to be used or abused.  Saying "NO" to someone doesn't make you cold-hearted, just helps them realize you refuse to be a doormat.  Unfortunately, people of whom I thought were my biggest supporters, the ones that would never do anything to hurt me, did exactly just that. 

The title of "Army Wife" is not just that, it's a sisterhood, a sorority of some of the finest women I have ever met.  As with any group of people, there are the select few who mar the name.  The ones who cheat, lie, steal, etc.  But, I have met some of the most courageous people who I have been proud to claim as a sister.  When a sister is down and out or just needs someone, I have laid down everything to be there for them, even possibly putting my own family aside to help. 

Just be sure, as an Army Wife, to lay down boundaries.  Up front.  Once you start feeling as if you're being taken advantage of, trust your instincts, you're probably right.  Do not allow a relationship with a fellow spouse get too far gone to where their problems or plights take precedence over your family's well being, as well as your own.  At that point, they've crossed a major boundary, and it may be too late to recover a normal, meaningful relationship with a person from that point forward.

Do not be afraid to voice how you feel.  If a person cannot accept your feelings and the fact you're telling them, they haven't matured enough yet, and truly are not ready to have an adult friendship with you.  If someone has hurt your feelings, angered you in any way, or just plain annoyed you; tell them.  If you don't, it will just fester and turn into an explosive release of rage.

Remember, you come before anyone else, it's ok to be selfish once in awhile.