Walk it out...

Take a walk....

Whether it's with your entire family, or just the few moments of solitude that keep you sane... do it.  We just walked with our kids to the larger park nearby our home.  It was wonderful to get out of the house, let the kids burn off energy while getting much needed exercise.  We chatted about nonsense and, yet again, I learned something new about my husband. 

While I know it's almost impossible to be able to walk daily, it is the best exercise. I'm always excited to just go for a walk with my family because my children are happy to get out and see new scenery, as well as the adults, we all also spend much needed time together and laugh.

Whenever you're fighting with your spouse, or need moments to cool off, take that walk.  It prevents from an argument escalating and helps to gather ones thoughts while apart so you can talk out the problem in a mature manner.  Rather than sticking around and pushing each other's buttons it's healthy to just WALK.

Best Advice Ever...

Take moments to spend time with your spouse.  Even if it means putting the kids to bed early and just sitting down and playing a board game, or relaxing outside gabbing.  Those moments are what keep your marriage lasting.  While sex is a major part of a relationship, being friends with your spouse trumps it.  It's not whether or not you love him or her, nor lust after your spouse, it is completely up to whether or not you LIKE them. 

KIDS BOWL FREE!!!

I wanted to pass along a great money saver and something to keep the kids busy during the summer and not have to be outside in the heat!

If you register your kids at Kids Bowl Free they receive TWO free games of bowling a DAY during the summer.  This is valued at over $500!  Also, there is a place to register up to 4 adults (parents, babysitter, grandparent, etc.) to also bowl 2 games a day with their kids!  That carries a price of only $24.95! It's also a 1-time fee, not a monthly or weekly!

Jump on this program, it supports most local bowling alleys, and I've noticed the ones all on military bases!!!!

Boundaries...

Laying down boundaries is something one must do immediately when becoming friends with fellow spouses on military installations.  Just like in the civilian world, people will take advantage of you, the difference on post is that the majority of the other spouses, like yourself, are far away from friends and families. 

I learned the hard way to lay down boundaries and to quit allowing myself to be used or abused.  Saying "NO" to someone doesn't make you cold-hearted, just helps them realize you refuse to be a doormat.  Unfortunately, people of whom I thought were my biggest supporters, the ones that would never do anything to hurt me, did exactly just that. 

The title of "Army Wife" is not just that, it's a sisterhood, a sorority of some of the finest women I have ever met.  As with any group of people, there are the select few who mar the name.  The ones who cheat, lie, steal, etc.  But, I have met some of the most courageous people who I have been proud to claim as a sister.  When a sister is down and out or just needs someone, I have laid down everything to be there for them, even possibly putting my own family aside to help. 

Just be sure, as an Army Wife, to lay down boundaries.  Up front.  Once you start feeling as if you're being taken advantage of, trust your instincts, you're probably right.  Do not allow a relationship with a fellow spouse get too far gone to where their problems or plights take precedence over your family's well being, as well as your own.  At that point, they've crossed a major boundary, and it may be too late to recover a normal, meaningful relationship with a person from that point forward.

Do not be afraid to voice how you feel.  If a person cannot accept your feelings and the fact you're telling them, they haven't matured enough yet, and truly are not ready to have an adult friendship with you.  If someone has hurt your feelings, angered you in any way, or just plain annoyed you; tell them.  If you don't, it will just fester and turn into an explosive release of rage.

Remember, you come before anyone else, it's ok to be selfish once in awhile.

Being an Army Wife...

Being married to a soldier is not necessarily the hardest job, but it is definitely the most rewarding. 
Civilians don't get the ability to fall back in love with their spouses because they've been gone for months.  We get to experience those butterflies in our stomachs, the tingly feeling when we kiss for the first time, and the nervousness that accompanies getting intimate for the first time.  It's like you're in high school again and on your first date. 

Imagine this, someone you've finally grown to trust and truly love has to leave for long periods of time, and every time they leave, they are a different person when they return.  It isn't always for the better, but sometimes it is, and in the end, a good woman stands by her man to help him through the rough times, she is his rock, and holds down the fort while he is gone.  Once that special person in your life returns, your world is turned upside down, yet again.  Both have to figure out how to cohabit and survive through rough times.  Whether it is PTSD, physical injuries, emotional, fiscal, or just awkwardness in general.  The army gives you about 30 days of family reintegration, after 2 weeks of job reintegration, and you're supposed to get it just right in 30 days or less before they are to return to work full time.  This is not only difficult, it is most likely impossible.

My husband and I have been married almost 7 years now.  In civilian time?? About 4.  Between deployments, training, and just ridiculous reasons to be away from home, it totals to about 3 years apart.  Yet, we do our best to make it work.  Between the kids, his job, my chores, and other miscellaneous things, we don't get much time together to grow as a couple.  Just last week I learned my husband was a band geek!!  WOW!!!

The most amazing thing about being married to a soldier is something people don't realize too often.  Most dwell on the time apart, I realize that because of it, there are things that I haven't learned about him (or even myself) during that span.  You truly do not know how strong you can be until you're left alone with kids, pets, and having to give birth by oneself.  It can make or break a woman.  This woman?? It made me.  I didn't have the support system that most do.  My family is far away (those that speak to me, that is), his family is too, the "friends" I made all ran for the hills once it got tough while the husband was away, so I went solo on the deployment. 

While it may seem like I'm bitching, I'm not, I'm grateful I didn't have anyone.  I learned to be resourceful, multi-tasker, manage 3 kids, and completely overhaul my schedule to compliment a newborn.  While seemingly daunting, I did it by myself.  I can hold my head up high and say with pride, "I AM AN ARMY WIFE.  I DID IT ON MY OWN.  MY HUSBAND CAN FEEL SECURE KNOWING I CAN HANDLE ANYTHING."  The minute your spouse has to worry about his home life, is the minute he has less of a reaction response to someone shooting, to protecting his fellow man, or himself.  And that single, solitary minute can be the deciding minute of life or death.